I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just forgot I was standing up.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
