True but thats because hes a fetus.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
