two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
