im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
