Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
