The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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