Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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