Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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