That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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