Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
