the new term for farting is butt boxing.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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