no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
