last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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