the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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