guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
