So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
