I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
