What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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