I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
3 2 1 whiskey
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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