youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
