If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
