with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
