sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
