He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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