Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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