I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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