Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
