Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
