dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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