He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
