you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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