my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
