Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
