i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I checked into jail on foursquare
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
