Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
