He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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