she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
