How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
