Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
