I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
