M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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