it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
