The brown eye won't let me do that either.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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