Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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