The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
