Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
