Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
