I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
