He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
