I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
